Details from within – Schyyy, it’s private and I’m only sharing it with you!
When I speak of writing, the image that comes first to my mind is not a novel, a poem, or a literary tradition; it is the person who shuts himself up in a room, sits down at a table, and alone, turns inward. Amid his shadows, he builds a new world with words.
Orhan Pamuk
You might remember my filled and overfull diary, one Moleskine Blank Notebook, that I’ve mentioned before? A fellow blogger linked to the post about my filled diary and said something about how curious she was about the inside! What was my diary filled with? How does the inside look? It got me thinking and as I was re-reading a few entries and browsing the pages I wished I could share it all with someone, someone like you. Someone curious, creative, longing for inspiration… But for the most part I can’t do that.
I can’t and don’t want to, because my diary is private (and most of my writing within it is therefor not crafted for other eyes but mine)! It’s written for my eyes only (and not very interesting for anyone else I think). Some of it even feels like secrets, at least nothing I’d share with the whole world (not that everyone comes by but anyone has the potential to do it and sometimes that scares the shit out of me!). But something perhaps?
Would you like a little glimpse into my private diary? Tag along then. I’m sharing my decoration drawings (train doodles mostly) and a few quotes that I’ve scribbled within these pages to remember. I thought it would still some of your curiosity but mostly I hope they will inspire you to open up your own notebook and start filling it…
I did take a few snapshots that I want to share here, one creative soul to another….
A collage page about being vulnerable and special… A wrapped up girl who needs more sleep (me) and the Dront (me); a large, clumsy, flightless bird (Raphus cucullatus), formerly of the island of Mauritius in the Indian Ocean, that has been extinct since the late 17th century.
From the Answers site, the Dodo is extinct – but their reputation didn’t die;
With the image of the dodo in mind, speakers of English have used dodo ever since as a four-letter word to express exasperation with a stupid person or stupid behavior. Reflection on the fate of the bird gave us, as early as 1904, a proverbial phrase, dead as a dodo, to go along with the much earlier dead as a doornail or dead as a herring.
His faith makes me want to cry! Who was the stupid one?
More details;
A few lines from a interview with an illustrator whose name I’ve forgotten. Out of context and glued into my private diary these words is about me and my life, not him.
Didn’t start using my Deutsch Daily Calendar that I got after Christmas last year, but I’ve taken out some of the overview pages (monthly) and taped them into my ongoing diary. It works rather well and on the backside I’ve written random stuff too.
Another quote I like; Time is a better recourse to have than money. Hear hear!
Another quote.
When my life stinks, I like to just say;
– Blääääää!
Like it did today on so many levels. Blä!
A quote about being 30+ and rather stay at home alone eating ice cream – from a favorite author of mine, Marian Keyes. I re-read her book Sushi for beginners recently but it was not at all as good as I remembered it.
I’m sitting here with After Eight chocolate, a few pink cookies from granma and a cup of hot black coffee. Each taste is divine and I’m grateful for what I have. Smilla is sleeping and the night is getting closer. I’m thinking about all the stories I want to tell. Photograph, draw, write down, share…. Each minute beholds so many different stories that I will never have time to tell. Off course I’m grateful for seeing and experiencing many of them (especially today when I broke my glasses and felt as I’d gone blind) but I can also feel sadness for not being able to record it all. I think this feeling is coming from a place inside of me that feels not synced with the now. I feel left behind, with so many items on my to-do-list that I kind of run all the time but stand still at the same time. I need to catch up, I guess that’s what next week is for. A trip I was going on got canceled and I now have that time. Will a week be enough? Is a week ever enough for anything? :-)
There will be more pages details tomorrow!
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Thank you for letting us peek inside; your journal looks just wonderful.
Broken glasses suck big time! That was me last year.
Remember that things happen for a reason.
*hugs*
Sophie
I struggle with the same thing–having too much to do, not enough time. In my saner moments, I can see that all that I have planned is impossible to fit in the time allotted but it still doesn’t keep me from making similar plans the next day. Good luck with the “extra” week!
Thank you for sharing pictures of your diary. I love looking into to people’s pages, you can see all the creativity spilling out. Your to do list will get done eventually. Just space what you have to do out. Sorry about your broken glasses. I know exactly how you feel.
oh, hanna –
i feel like you and i would be such good friends if we were ever to meet! your photos and entries are always so beautiful and insightful and inspirational, and i always look at myself in a new light for just a moment before i move on to the next thing waiting for me…
you’re so brave in sharing your journal.. i don’t think i ever could! i need to start writing in mine again; it’s so small and i don’t really feel like it’s MINE. and that’s intimidating.
thank you for being an inspiration – i hope your glasses get fixed soon and that you have a wonderful, beautiful evening.
love,
thank you for that special glimpse inside your diary-I really enjoyed it!! thanks for the comment on my girl too:) I am working on another one now that I want to add to my art journal but the next one I want to try to put her in pj’s (I am still pretty new at this drawing, but I am having so much fun with it!)
Oh, and I have read Sushi for beginners but I don’t really remember it…..I do love Rachel’s Holiday-have read that quite a few times. Well, I hope you have a good evening! I gotta get back to my drawing (could get more done if I wasn’t drawing, browsing the internet AND watching Ghost Whisperer:)
Dear Hanna,
Thank you for sharing your diary with us. It touches something inside me to get writing again. Even I don’t have a blog I still ask myself what to share for example on flickr or what is considered private. I think we all do. Your former post about creative questions and goals got me thinking and now I’m looking for my own answers.
Take care and just do one thing at the time.
i love this little glimpse…
What a beautiful diary! How often do you re-read your entries? I have started so many times, only to rip the pages out and throw them away. My problem is mostly based on fear. Fear of someone reading it, fear of being “found out”, and maybe just fear of what I really think and feel. Your writing inspires me to become a little braver!
Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your beautiful diary, Hanna….it has definitely inspired me to get back into my journaling.
Thank you for sharing your diary with us. I remember you were intrigued when I once mentioned that it was common for Victorian women who were close friends to share their diaries with each other. It is a rather intimate gesture, don’t you think?
I meant to add that re. dodo – some quotes can be quite insensitive. :(
hey, beautiful diary pages!
all my plans to start keeping a journal again, so far have failed! i want new, better, more relevant, more beautiful journals than the previous ones… (i kept diaries from the age of ten (1st entry is a list of my birthday presents, including ‘this diary’…) up to maybe a year after college, but while i can’t throw them away, i know they aren’t very good, i used to write to fill time, but when i was a teenager i was too scared to write what was really bothering me, and later, i only wrote when nothing exciting was happening, because when things were happening i didn’t have the time or energy to record them!! so the fear of filling yet another beautiful book with irrelevant musings keeps me from really trying… even though now would be a good time i suppose. i will have more time at home now (thought not the amount of time it would take to gesso and glue and watercolour as much!)
anyhow, yours are inspiring and artistic and i love looking at them on your blog!
?h wow, Hanna, underbart, verkligen! Jag hade helt r?tt n?r jag t?nkte att din dagbok m?ste vara full av h?rliga saker n?r jag skrev att jag var nyfiken :)
i love this sneak peak into your diary, hanna. it’s beautiful!