Book review: Living introverted by Lee Ann Lambert
I have learned a lot about being introverted from writer and blogger Lee Ann Lambert who self-published a book called Living introverted in 2009. In her book Lee Ann describes the introverted personality very well. She write:
Introverts are people who need to be left alone at times (much more often than extroverts). We need to think quietly, plan, mull and imagine. We prefer to spend the bulk of our time “in our heads”, and we cannot do this well while in the middle of a group of people at a tailgate party. Introverts tend to be thinkers, planners, strategists, and imagineries, and enjoy doing complex work with our brains.
Reading this I’m reminded of my childhood, where I would prefer a book in front of playing with the other children in school. Hiding from the locomotion of the school yard I would sit comfortable inside in a window recess reading a book too heavy for my age. I guess I just needed time by myself. Nobody told me it was okay, teachers would often ask what was wrong? I wish I would’ve know about the word introverted back then! A section of Lee Ann’s book is about introverted children, and any parent of a silent tranquil child should check this book out!
Lee Ann also writes:
Extroverts find introverts mysterious and sometimes unsettling. We can be difficult to read because we do not readily share our thoughts with others until we feel comfortable doing so.
When I meet with new people I have been told I’m secretive and mysterious. This baffles me as I know I’m not. I love to talk about personal stuff with my friends and I don?t keep secrets. I mean, I blog online for heavens sake! So why do some get this impression of me I ask myself? Reading the book I understand that I need to feel comfortable with that new person in my life before I start talking about personal stuff. I have no secrets, but I don?t share everything with just anyone, and some things that to an extrovert is comfortable talking about to any new stranger is not at all easy-talk to me! I don’t like to talk about money at all, and I seldom mention my blog or other creative projects.
I think Lee Ann Lambert’s book is a great introduction to the mind of introverts, with lots of tips on how to hone your social skills at official talks, parties and other social events. I’m not as impressed with the formatting of the text with huge margins, blank pages before each chapter etc, but that’s just my inner designer talking. If you?re at all feeling a need to explore this topic visit livingintroverted.com and read a few posts.
I bought a copy of this book through (amazon.com) in May last year and I’ve now read it again, thinking how introversion and creativity interacts rather well in my life
As a fan of Lee Ann’s blog and as a self-publisher myself I wanted to support another writer who took the leap to publish (though I wish I had money so I could get more e-books and other self published books more often), plus as an introvert I think this is an important subject to learn more about.
- Check out my previous post about introversion to get the links and introverted information resources, and buy the book Living introverted (amazon affiliate link) if you want to learn more about being an introvert in an extroverted world.
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I have followed your blog with interest for a long time.. and I love your creativity. I had never made the link between being introverted and creativity before.. I don’t know why. It had just never occurred to me. I remember as a child being extremely quiet and introverted – if my head wasn’t in a book, I was writing stories in my head, or knitting and crocheting. Like you, I was always asked what was ‘wrong’.. then as a teenager, I came to the realisation that I would have to learn to be an extrovert in order to fit in, so I did just that.. now, the best part of a lifetime later, I’ve just given up work (I couldn’t face talking about all the life-changes so I didn’t blog for months!), and now I have just begun to wallow in the silence of creative thought and my own inner voice again. I read your blog again and immediately understood that I’m reverting to my original type.. and will now live being introverted to the full.. Thank you for sharing all this. It has truly struck a chord.
I love reading this blog, because you have so many creative, interesting ideas and as an introvert myself, I feel that I can identify with everything that you have just said. I still prefer mostly my own company and like nothing more than curling up with a good book.
Thanks for your post, when I read Fiona’s comment, I realized that I had taught myself to be extroverted to survive, but as I grow older, I realize how much I need the inner life, and now I am making changes to get more of it.
I love these recent posts. I’m not a shy person, but my need for “alone time” often edges on the extreme and while most days I’d much rather do something quiet and on my own, I often feel guilty or even sort of neglected when I see my friends going out and doing stuff even though I choose not to go along. It never made sense until I read an article in Body and Soul about being an introvert and had my “Ah Ha!” moment. So these articles and blog entires have been great resources to me. I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Thank you for sharing them.
Thanks for posting so much info about introverts. I certainly belong to that category. I open up once I get to know someone, but I hate talking to strangers. I have many friends who tell me they thought I was being rude or didn’t like them at first. We are a very misunderstood group, so thanks for spreading the word!
That book sounds very interesting! Everything you described from your own childhood and from the book sound just like me! I’ve always know I am more introverted and quiet, it’s just who I am and I embrace it. Thanks for reviewing the book, I’ll have to check it out :)
Have you read The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron? It is a must-read for anyone who’s been called “shy” or too…. sensitive, quiet, internal, whatever slightly backhanded descriptions extroverts often use to describe introverts. Waiting to evaluate the “lay of the land” (person, environment, job, etc.) before you share personal info just seems like good sense to me! I haven’t read Lee Ann Lambert’s book yet, but I’m adding it to my list. Not all introverts are highly sensitive, nor are all sensitives introverted, but there’s a huge overlap. Thanks for such a thoughtful post!
Very interesting blog post – I think I am way more of an introvert than I realized seeing as I fit a lot of the criteria that you listed above! Thanks for the post :)
Wow–it’s always so good to be reminded of this difference in my personality. I am definitely an introvert, although I’ve become much more extroverted with the help of my very vivacious husband. I do enjoy spending time with friends and all of that, but I NEED “downtime” to think, stare out the window, create, and just . . . be.
Another way I heard someone describe this once was to evaluate where you draw your energy from. Do you feel energized after being with others, or drained? When you recharge your emotional batteries, how do you do that? For me, recharging is definitely done in an internal way, not external. My husband is the total opposite. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way–you just need to know WHICH you are, so you can recharge in the way that’s appropriate for YOU… I didn’t know that for a long time, and I’d wonder what was wrong with me. Now that I know my personality type, I make sure to carve out that time of solitude, so I can enjoy the social time.
Sorry for the long response! This is just a really important topic for me. Thanks for helping me think through it again. It’s always nice to know there are others out there. :)
Thanks for the interesting perspective on introverts and the book review! I’m also a creative introvert and I live in Israel, where introversion is regarded as some kind of social disease. ;-) One of the reasons I love photography is because it’s a socially acceptable way of being creative at a big social event like a wedding or bar mitzvah. Nobody notices if I hide behind a camera, even if I’m only photographing the cutlery, whereas pulling out a copy of “Living Introverted” and sitting in a corner would attract attention.
Thanks for writing about this! I am definitely an introvert. And I’ve often worked with extroverts that didn’t understand me. They would think I was quiet or afraid to speak up. But the truth was, I liked to mull things over in my mind before I offered my opinions. It’s great to read about this – and certainly helpful in my dealings with people. Thanks for the book recommendation. :)
Thanks for an interesting article. The book is now on my to-read-list. /Helena
I am an introvert who thought I was wierd until I read a really wonderful book on introversion called “party of one”. I forgot the author but it is on amazon. The author covers every aspect of introversion you can imagine. You will put this book down feeling like there is nothing unusual about being an introvert and that there are a lot of us out there. I read it once a year, it’s that good.